video, after the caverns

[fuck1ngusernam3]

 So, correct me if I'm wrong about this. 

[Hank doesn't bother with an intro, just starts right on in. The angle he's holding his wrist shows both his face and the stick he's dragging along the wall behind him, which has been in a fire at some point in the recent past and leaves a long black trail of ash over the wall as he walks.]

But when all you heroes trooped into the haunted caves under the mysterious freaky lake the communication plan was along the lines of, 'gee, if someone gets their feet ate off by some freaky bullshit I sure do hope they yell real loud so I can get there before they bleed out' right? I mean, I trust you guys know to make a post letting us all know if you need backup, but what if this- [Here the screen shakes as Hank wiggles his wrist, indicating the watch] -gets busted, or stolen, or whatever? 

I don't know, I was just thinking, next time a bunch of us, or just anyone, goes into something that might get bad there should be some kind of post stuck to the top of our feed that we could all check, just something like this-

[He stops walking, still talking as he starts to scratch a little list in ash onto the wall beside him.]

Hey, I wonder how little Suzy's doing. Oh, she checked in an hour ago, she's probably fine.

[He writes Suzy on the wall, and a checkmark next to her name.]

How about JimBob the Murder Bot? Oh, he hasn't checked in for about seven hours, I should take someone to go look for him.

[Next to JimBob the Murder Bot he doodles a little skull. Sorry Jimbo, it's hard out there for a figurative probably-dead robot. Better luck next time.]

Or maybe you guys would rather do some kinda daily role call like in school or, hell, maybe it's just more fun to lone wolf your way through all this world saving shit, what do I know. Decide amongst yourselves. I might be around, I might not. Just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm gonna go eat. 

Comments

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Yeah.

[Hank looks a little surprised from 'you guys' on, but she keeps on going so he doesn't really know what to make of it, just gives the screen a confused little look before answering.]

People back home wouldn't like that much. It's a privacy thing, you know? And you'd still need to know before someone was going into some kind of bad situation, but that would be a good backup, if someone could make it work. You think that would work on tech too, read your vitals, or would that only work on something with a pulse?

[undeserved]

[ so "you guys" probably meant "androids," then. It's not surprising; there are a decent amount of YoRHa androids running around here, against all odds, and their uniform is distinctive. ]

... It should work. YoRHa androids' black boxes give off a specific signal while active. There's probably something similar in the other androids' hardware that we could detect. But technical details aren't my specialty.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Yeah, me neither. You'd think with all the robots that dropped here she'd of pulled at least one IT guy. We don't even have spare parts, even back home we tried to actually keep up the PC and PM units, I mean, you can't just keep buying new ones.

How's technical shit not your specialty, anyway? You'd think you'd be programmed knowing how you work, like, for repairs and diagnostics and shit.

[undeserved]

I know how I work. I don't know how to analyze and reprogram other machines. That's my partner's job. I'm a combat infantry unit.

[ hacking and engineering is 9S's thing. ]

What are PC and PM units?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Oh, they're just uh, the models my station uses. Specialty models or, I don't know, whatever the fuck they're called. Hey look, the combat thing reminds me, I've been wanting to ask - did the guy who designed you have some kind of fetish? Not just you, I mean, all the bots from your world kind of have a look, and then there's the eye thing, and military models back where I come from are all big guys - and girls too, you know, all that stuff.

[undeserved]

[ android models? That would make Hank the first human she's run into that actually has firsthand experience with androids like herself - which is something she's interested in and would ask about, except for that other thing he just said that completely derails her train of thought.

She's silent for a few moments, staring blankly at the video feed, before finally answering curtly: ]

No.

[ she does her best not to sound disrespectful, she really does, but... it's bleeding through. just a little. ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

O-kay. [He says it slowly, pulling a smile and giving her a cheery thumbs up.] Got it. No kinky shit going on on robo Earth.

[undeserved]

[ that is also False but she's not about to be the one to tell him that........ ]

... You said "your station." You work with androids on a space station?

[ this is her guess, based on her (limited) knowledge of android life. ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[He wouldn't be surprised. Blindfolds, for fuck's sake. There's something kinky going on on robo Earth.]

Space? Fuck no. Can you see me in space? I'd be bitching the whole time. No. Pretty sure there's not many humans up there anymore anyway, just one or two. The rest of em are androids now. But, no. Police station, I'm a cop.

[He shrugs, like he's apologizing for the answer. He is, a little. Being an astronaut's probably a lot cooler.]

[undeserved]

[ it does make a lot more sense for androids to be manning a space station... but in her defense, she doesn't know what a police station is. She thinks she knows what a cop is, thanks to Drakstaden...

2B nods, seeming to ruminate on that answer a little bit. ]

... Do you know Connor, then? [ just a guess, but it would make sense. ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Hank huffs, half exasperated, half amused.]

Yeah, I know him. Me and every other sentient life form in this crazy place. What’d he do when he got here, walk around with a sandwich board that said, ‘Hello! It is me, Connor! The friendliest android!’

[undeserved]

[ that's quite a colorful description....... compared to 9S, though, Connor seems reserved, so she's not sure she'd call it accurate. 2B's too used to it. If she were less repressed, she might have cracked a smile at the mental image, but, unfortunately, she is the most repressed. ]

No, he... [ ... chased away some weird balloon pigeons that were standing on her? Definitely can't say that. ] ... helped me with something. Are you from the same place?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Yeah, met him a little bit before I got here. Why? Don't tell me we just seem that much alike, or I'm gonna have to reevaluate my life choices.

[undeserved]

[ she shakes her head. ]

He said he was a law enforcement android. It was a guess. [ a beat. ] I've only ever heard of androids working alongside humans from you two.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Yeah, I guess you wouldn't of heard about that stuff since uh, we're not exactly around where you come from, are we? [He runs a hand over his hair, reminded about that particular thought exercise - because that's all it is, really, to him.] Humans create androids, androids inherit the Earth. That's still kind of weird.

[undeserved]

So you already know.

[ that makes this easier. She hates telling humans about her Earth. It makes her feel like a failure. ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Well, I don't know how much I know. When one of you told me we weren't around I kind of assumed we went extinct, but then the other one told me we were, uh. On the moon. The moon's got better vacation spots, I guess.

[Talking to people from all those sword and sorcery dimensions might be like straight up talking to a friendly hallucination, but that doesn't mean the sci-fi dimensions don't come with their own special kind of weird. He shrugs, looking thoughtful.]

So maybe I don't know, cause you're saying it like there's some kind of secret.

[undeserved]

No... that's all. [ both things are true in their own way. 2B shakes her head a little bit. ] It's not a secret. I just wanted to avoid causing you unnecessary stress.

[ it's not exactly the greatest thing to hear, that your species has gone extinct in at least one iteration of your universe... ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

What, really?

[Hank looks and sounds disbelieving, thinking of the conversation with the other guy who maybe hadn't tried to spare Hank the stress of the apparently terrible news, but who had been pretty surprised when it hadn't hit Hank that way.]

Why do you guys act like it's so terrible to hear about? I mean, I guess it woulda been bad to see whatever went down, but after it's done? Why would I give a shit?

UH THIS IS LATE SORRY feel free to drop if it's been too long

[undeserved]

[ that... isn't the reaction she would have expected, and she looks mildly taken aback for a few seconds. ]

... It doesn't bother you that your species went extinct?

[ she thought it would be frightening to hear... ]

nah you're good

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Well, I don't know, you kinda know it's gonna happen eventually. Besides, androids are everywhere where I come from already, it's not really a shock to think the robots'll probably inherit the Earth.

[His voice is dry, not really pleased about the fact but pretty blase about it.]

Honestly the idea of androids getting everything after we go bothers me more. But the whole extinct thing itself?

[He shrugs, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips.]

I'd think it wouldn't bother you either, I mean, unless you knew a human or two before we all kicked it.

[undeserved]

[ the apathy is surprising to hear; she'd assumed (or was she taught, or was it a belief built into her? she doesn't know anymore) that human civilization had been peaceful and idyllic before the invasion, but this man doesn't sound surprised that his species would disappear and be replaced eventually. She'd be lying if she said it didn't make her heart sink to hear it. Part of her wants to hear horror at his people's plight, and passion for retaking the planet, getting revenge, even now.

Not that she says any of that. She can hear the distaste for androids in his words, too. ]

Of course it does. Everything we did was for humanity. Loyalty and pride towards our creators is written into our programming.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Hank pulls a face. That feels wrong somehow, distasteful, but he can't put his finger on why.]

Maybe that's what we missed out on, back home. We didn't think about making our robots love us.

[His voice is dry - programming an android to genuinely like you, that's a fuckin concept - and it goes a teensy bit incredulous as he goes on.]

So you really... like them, I guess, even now? When you don't even have to?

[undeserved]

[ when she doesn't even have to. When maybe she shouldn't, at this point. Is it really the humans' fault, though? It feels like too big of a judgement for her to make. ]

... It's not something I can change, even if I wanted to. It's how I was made.

[ she's not sure she'd call it "liking" humans. It's both too strong a word and not strong enough. ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

That's not fair.

[There it is, the root of what bothers him about this. It just kind of comes out, and he tries not to think about it too hard. Being fair to an android - back home, anyway, where the androids were different - is kind of like trying to be fair to your coffeemaker. But Hank's trying not to think too hard about anything in this weird, fucked up place. Sometimes he's okay at it.]

You can't even reprogram each other into, like, even being able to decide whether you want to feel that way? Not even the ones that were made after the last human, uh- left? [Left for the moon, which might be the least weird thing about this, when you look at it from a certain angle.] It's just all warm squishy feelings, all the time, from now until forever?