video, after the caverns

[fuck1ngusernam3]

 So, correct me if I'm wrong about this. 

[Hank doesn't bother with an intro, just starts right on in. The angle he's holding his wrist shows both his face and the stick he's dragging along the wall behind him, which has been in a fire at some point in the recent past and leaves a long black trail of ash over the wall as he walks.]

But when all you heroes trooped into the haunted caves under the mysterious freaky lake the communication plan was along the lines of, 'gee, if someone gets their feet ate off by some freaky bullshit I sure do hope they yell real loud so I can get there before they bleed out' right? I mean, I trust you guys know to make a post letting us all know if you need backup, but what if this- [Here the screen shakes as Hank wiggles his wrist, indicating the watch] -gets busted, or stolen, or whatever? 

I don't know, I was just thinking, next time a bunch of us, or just anyone, goes into something that might get bad there should be some kind of post stuck to the top of our feed that we could all check, just something like this-

[He stops walking, still talking as he starts to scratch a little list in ash onto the wall beside him.]

Hey, I wonder how little Suzy's doing. Oh, she checked in an hour ago, she's probably fine.

[He writes Suzy on the wall, and a checkmark next to her name.]

How about JimBob the Murder Bot? Oh, he hasn't checked in for about seven hours, I should take someone to go look for him.

[Next to JimBob the Murder Bot he doodles a little skull. Sorry Jimbo, it's hard out there for a figurative probably-dead robot. Better luck next time.]

Or maybe you guys would rather do some kinda daily role call like in school or, hell, maybe it's just more fun to lone wolf your way through all this world saving shit, what do I know. Decide amongst yourselves. I might be around, I might not. Just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm gonna go eat. 

Comments

[p_mortem]

I was only stabbed a little. I'm in no danger of bleeding out and dying. Do you think I would text while blinding running myself into spikes?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

...idk where u stand on bein insulted by other ppl so im gonna just keep my mouth shut here

[p_mortem]

You called me a shithead half a dozen times already. I won't be offended.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

well in that case if u r runnin n2 spikes rite now ill call u a double shithead hows that

[p_mortem]

Uh.
Before I comment, you don't like magic, right?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Fuck. He can't get away from this shit, can he?]

cant like wats not fuckin real

srry if u got sumthin 2 say say it u can talk 2 me u kno

[p_mortem]

People like unicorns and aliens even though they're not "real" to them...
I was just going to say, I'm fine because of ~magic~ but that just sounds like a bs excuse now.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

not an excuse if its true r u fine or do u need stuff

[p_mortem]

I'm okay. I'm trying to explain, that if I do anything that sounds stupid, it's because it'll be okay. Does that make sense?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

no

wait fuck sum1 warned me abt this. magic isnt magic u kno. cant think of another way 2 phrase that so stfu. but its like w doctors u still need 2 find 1 n time n all these powers r weird n fiddly so even if u do find sum1 who can magic shit away it might not work the way you want it to

tl;dr if u get urself hurt b/c ur countin on magic 2 save u im gonna be so goddamn pissed

[p_mortem]

So you do get it. Magic makes people believe they're invincible, and in turn, makes them stupid.
But at the same time, it works... Relying on it is one thing, but if it works, you should take advantage of it, or something, right?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

if ur just gonna use it as an excuse 2 do stupid shit ur fuckin full of it

[p_mortem]

Yeah, I am. Suffering the consequences of it too.
Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned the whole magic thing. Knew you'd get mad.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

not mad b/c of that thats my bullshit crisis im mad b/c i feel like shit n also dont kno if u kno 2 b careful. guys wanted 2 use androids like that back n the day wen they first came out like a fuckin doll w a uniform on meant they could ignore basic safety bs n i busted their fuckin asses 4 it

idk ur not a cop n idk if uve even done nything. can u just not count on fucking magic nymore than ud count on like a bandaid thatd be cool

[p_mortem]

I know. I know it's not good to rely on it, or become overconfident because of it. I know I should be cautious, and do what I can first without turning to something I don't understand. I know.
Do you ever come across something you wouldn't normally involve yourself with, but magic or an android or whatever makes it possible, and then you can only see it as a missed opportunity if you don't go do that stupid thing?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

yeh like another missed opportunitys gonna make a fuckin difference

[That's it, isn't it? It's age shit. You can teach a rookie all the safety shit in the world but they've still gotta throw themselves against the rocks for a while no matter how stupid they think they know it is.]

fuck workin w kids is hard

[p_mortem]

It makes a difference. I've spent too much of my life not doing anything. So when I'm finally able to, it seems like a waste if I don't. I don't think that's an age thing.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

fuck just call me wen ur up here not dead ok

[p_mortem]

I can do that. Or I can come see you. Where would you be?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

my room just tell me 1st give me a heads up

[p_mortem]

Alright. I'll come bearing souvenirs.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

god if its the death eels im just gonna throw up on u that ok

[p_mortem]

If somebody's been offering you death eels, I want in on that.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

god of course u fuckin do. im sure theres lots of other deadly shit n there u can find so thats cool. just give me a couple hours ok nless ur like dying or sum shit but if ur ok ill see u then k

[p_mortem]

Yeah, but not eels. It'll be a while yet before we're back. I'll call you later.

[ a couple hours later, as promised, a phone call-- ring, ring, pick up, Hank ]