[video]

[glitzandglamour]

[The camera's at an unnaturally flattering angle of Mettaton's upper body, something only possible for someone with extendable arms or something ridiculous like that. He sits behind a table of some kind, and if he had a stack of papers and a pristine suit it might be reminiscent of a news anchor. But for anyone who has met this showy robot, Mettaton's expression looks a lot more drained than usual. He quickly remedies this and puts forth a pleasant smile, his voice smooth and clear.]

Hello there, beauties and gentlebeauties! It's Mettaton, here at last to deliver the content you've been craving! ...If we weren't under such grim circumstances. You see. I would love for the purpose of this communication to be to serenade you with my dulcet voice. But I have some news for you that is both meaty and fascinating... Like a Steak In The Shape Of My Face, which is both enticing and satiating. So why not compromise and have both?? [He raises a finger.] I've just recovered from connecting to the Horologium itself in an attempt to gather some information by using my robotic talents... At the pleading of Pidge-darling over here. [Who he gestures to, but she's off camera.] And with her assistance. It wasn't easy! Think of it as a token of my dedication to you, my lovely new viewers... Ohhh yes!!

[Mettaton sticks his tongue out "cutely." At least his energy seems to be returning to him the longer he remains on camera.]

What we found? Well. When you connect to a store of information like that, it's always a lot. But this was beyond measure! Imagine. Many of the answers to your questions... lie immediately accessible within these very walls. [Walls, like the one he's sliding his finger down sensually.

Here, his smile tenses.]

The problem is that these answers were so numerous, in fact, that it was enough to, ah. Damage my hardware. ...But don't worry, darlings! I'm better than ever. Now, enough waiting! Let's get to the meat of the matter!!!

[Mettaton clears his throat, which is an incredibly normal thing for a robot without a throat to do.]

Let's start with dimensions. This ship is bigger than you're imagining... If your imagination is anywhere less than 20,000 rooms, and more floors than I could keep track of! [His gaze drifts away in recollection.] And 20,000 was only where I lost my place. Needless to say, it's a number higher than that. Some of these floors have logs that suggest that they're on conflicting schedules, chronologically. For example, they each lost power at different times... And many of the floors possess their own unique stores of information like this, but that's the only teaser I have about that! Flawless though I must seem, it's a little hard even for me to access ALL of that data during a thirty-second foray into a massive server. Nobody said this report was going to be without its disappointments!!

Ah, but. I caught a portion of an emergency call... One sent out before the ship lost electricity. I couldn't make it all out, but there was something about... "in the ship." Oooh, what could that mean?!

[He leans closer to the camera eagerly, as though to invoke curiosity in his audience. But now it's onto the detail he likes significantly less, given that he had to experience it first-hand. His visible eye narrows; Mettaton sobers, and brushes his free hand over his fringe as though to smooth it. It's already smooth.]

But onto the HOT ISSUE of discussion, given that it's related to our... noisy shipmate. You must want to know more about that sound, and I had full intent to deliver. But as soon as I looked into details about that sound... I short-circuited. The moment I inquired, the ship itself... ...Well. Trust me when I tell you that... whatever this noise is, something with access to the ship's data is deeply distressed about it.

[As if on cue, the light flickers, the ship rumbles, and the feed crackles out, preventing Mettaton from doing an obnoxious outro. It's one of those intermittent disruptions, par for the course. It's for the best that he's stopped there: he'll keep talking for the sake of listening to his own voice if he isn't.]

Comments

voice

[extirpator]

Are you alright?

[ very simple question. he'll parse the rest later. ]

video

[glitzandglamour]

[Simple indeed. Mettaton's almost caught off guard by it, having expected a question directed toward the data. He blinks.]

How considerate of you to ask... I'm doing well. Pidge repaired any damage I sustained.

[extirpator]

I'm glad. You should be more careful. The data is appreciated, but it isn't worth much if you go down with it.

[ there's a pause, like he's deliberating. ]

Whatever killed these people is still here. We need to prepare for battle soon.

[glitzandglamour]

I wouldn't do something I didn't think I could handle, darling.

[He totally got in over his head. Mettaton offers a confident smile regardless, because everything turned out just fine in the end.]

But what tells you that battle preparations are the next step...? How do you combat what you don't understand?

[extirpator]

Dar—...? [ he. clearly sounds flustered, but moving on. ] Even if you can handle it, you shouldn't let yourself get hurt.

[ you can practically hear him rubbing at the back of his head. but there's another a pause, and a small "hm." escapes him. ]

This creature wiped out over 20,000 people. That means it's big. But it hasn't attacked us — it's been watching and studying our movements. I took a look at the blood tracks in the empty rooms...it may be large, but its size has to be making up for its mobility. If it's been dormant for so long, it has to be at a disadvantage. If we wait for it, it won't be.

The last time...it won because it came to understand the people on the ship. It knew their weaknesses, their capabilities and who they were...we can't afford to let that happen again. Whatever happens, I want to find it and make sure it doesn't get that chance.

[glitzandglamour]

20,000 people. I didn't think about... [Mettaton sits back for a moment, his smile dissolving as he goes back to remembering the moments before he short-circuited.] When I tried learning more about the sound, I experienced something... eerie. It was screaming and wailing... A crowd of unfathomable size, but instead of cheers, it was agonized cries. This wasn't code: I could hear it clearly.

I wonder if the noise I heard was the former inhabitants. And if so... Well. [He leans forward and engages the camera with a meaningful look.] I'm sure you have conclusions of your own.

text

[guiltycharge]

Why
Why do you look like that

[Why.

...But it occurs to him that even if it was a useful question, he probably wouldn't get a useful answer from this guy, so:]

Also, you were cut off.

video

[glitzandglamour]

I'm aware.

[And he doesn't seem happy about it, because that's not the smile of a person pleased to have been cut off. But he recovers, since more pressing issues exist to be addressed.]

Anyways. What could you mean, "why do I look like this"...? This is my body. Of course I look this stunning!

just text for now he's gen y fuck u

[guiltycharge]

I preferred the box.

[All right, he didn't like the box, but it had a certain dearth of uncanny valley.]

More to the point, the timing of that cutoff was convenient. A surviving crew member was able to snoop on us to some extent. Between that and these disruptions, I wonder what else is.
Is it possible for the ship itself to be sentient? Did you get any impression like that?

video is for the big time sexy robot lover, permanently

[glitzandglamour]

[He reads the text and quirks and eyebrow at Ritsu... providing him with a statement of preference, which Mettaton quickly interprets as "I Really Like The Box." He smiles.]

Noted. You're full of surprises, Kageyama! But I'm glad to hear somebody here is a fan of rectangles. It is a lovely body.

[It grew on him, and he enjoys seeing his rectangular image on big posters. Monsters love it. Ritsu likes it, he decided for him. He continues reading, his attention scrolling across the face of the device until he finishes – but he narrowed his eyes somewhere around the first part of the second paragraph. Convenient? Rude.]

The ship... Hmm. A lot of the questions I had in mind were very easy to find once I thought about them. That's just how robots work, beautiful! [All of Mettaton's smugness dissolves here, his gaze moving up while he tilts his head.] For the most part, it didn't leave me with any impression of sentience. But there was one thing... When I thought about the intermittent sound, I got an answer instead of a chance to look.

( video )

[unpatriarchal]

Something in the ship . . .

[ a murmur . . . all of what mettaton says is interesting, of course, and of great importance, but lotor actually does like the annoying little robot person, and so he actually is a bit concerned for how mettaton looks (and is generally acting). ]

Do you need help?

[glitzandglamour]

I've already received all of the help I need, if you're referring to my repairs. It's all taken care of, beautiful!!

[He's an actor. As such, he flashes Lotor a charismatic smile to supplement his claim. Mounting psychological pressure? The lingering disorientation associated with being out cold for two days? Never heard of it.]

What's on your mind? Care to share with the class?

[unpatriarchal]

[ well. he supposes that's good, at any rate, but lotor reserves his quip in order to actually seriously answer the question: ]

Where is the damage to the ship, and how is it still flying, if something attacked from the outside? Unless it was already on this vessel . . . it had to get in somehow, and we have seen no signs of such an attack outside of a few skirmishes in a few rooms.

None of this, logistically, makes any sense.

[glitzandglamour]

Already on the vessel, hm? Now there's an idea! As it goes in many stories, sometimes your enemy hides in plain sight. If it's in the ship, it would have never needed to force its way in at all. Maybe it's been there all along... That would do away with explaining the lack of damage to the ship.

[Mettaton pauses a beat.]

Do we know what it looks like at all...? I've heard it must have been big.

[unpatriarchal]

[ another shrug. ]

We have no idea, but if it is large, then we would still see signs of assault, surely. The more likely explanation is that it was small enough to sneak aboard, like a stowaway, rather than blast it's way in from the outside.

But if that were the case, then how did it possibly get rid of the crew . . .

[ lotor is thinking out loud, and seems to realize that before he sighs, waving a hand dismissively. ]

Most of this is pointless conjecture. We likely won't know until it finds us, or we find it.

text

[formleg]

Pidge is good for stuff like that. Glad you're all right.

I'd also say I'm glad you guys were able to find out some more stuff...but I'm not sure I like what you've found. How does each floor have a conflict chronologically...is time being manipulated on this ship then? I guess that could explain the amount of rooms and space...maybe.

What else do you remember about the emergency call? Aside from that ominous bit.

video

[glitzandglamour]

Your guess is as good as mine, darling! But I like the speculation. What good is providing the facts if it doesn't spark some brainstorming...?

[Mettaton cups his chin to reread the end of Hunk's message.]

Hm hm. The emergency call... was impossible for me to decipher, otherwise. Aside from the bit about "in the ship." As I said, it was also dispatched... before the ship lost power, according to the logs. Well? What are you thinking?

text

[formleg]

Darn. Well Astoria said she got a distress beacon but didn't really give us details...I was sort of hoping we could get a bit more.

And do you mean my theories about the ship? They're still really tentative, not sure I can really explain them.

[glitzandglamour]

Yes. Sadly, I'm not well-versed in alien. I know I'm a robot, but I don't have the ability to decode everything I process through my super-computer of a brain! [There is no super computer brain. But there could be, in a hypothetical scenario.] I'm surprised I managed that much. I couldn't piece it together, otherwise!

[Leaning back in his chair, Mettaton kicks his long leg over his knee in an incredibly exaggerated fashion as though to intentionally get the action on camera. Whatever.]

If you wanted to share, I wouldn't mind. I've only spent the last two days completely shut out from the world! I'm glad to be back and talking to my darling shipmates again.

[formleg]

Sorry for making that assumption, that's good to know.

Well, one theory I have is that somewhere on the ship there is something that manipulates space/time and if that malfunctioned then it could explain why there's all this warping and strangeness. It sounds pretty scifi, I know, but I feel like just about anything is possible at this point.

voice;

[mollymocked]

[That is a lot.]

I can't say I know what most of that means, but I knew it! I knew there had to be something awful in this bloody ship.

video

[glitzandglamour]

[Sorry, Molly. He's uncontrollable in front of a camera. Even a little watch camera.]

I think the ghastly skirmish residue in one of those rooms I heard about would be enough to convince most of that. Claw marks, bloodied walls... The works. ...So what struck you as being so awful, this time around?

[mollymocked]

The complete lack of people aside from... The one person we're currently trusting because there's no one else to trust right now. People don't just abandon things for no reason.

[glitzandglamour]

Abandoned... That's a unique take. Most seem to believe that the crew was killed... But I suppose nobody 100% trustworthy can prove it wasn't merely abandoned. Who knows? It could have been a mixture of slaughter AND abandonment. And if that were the case... Chance of the remaining crew abandoning ship due to the slaughter, 98.8%. Other, more frivolous reasons, 4%.

And if the ship wasn't "abandoned," I'd wager the lack of people is because they're all dead, darling.

[mollymocked]

Oh, I was just being generous, since there are definitely people here who take exception to anyone just assuming everyone's dead. I absolutely believe they're all dead and we're going to find their rotting corpses any day now.

[So really he's glad that someone else believes that.]