video | dated at the very end of week one

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[The video opens on a patch of dirt, a leg stretched out along one edge of the screen. Next to the leg a number of very small muddy spots map out a connect-the-dots picture that more creative minds - or just anyone who's ever been a bored teenager - might recognize as a sort-of accurate depiction of one particular x-rated body part. A voice, cracking and hoarse like it has to drag itself over gravel to get its words out, starts speaking immediately.]

Hey, you know what makes me-

[His coughing is harsh and wet but it's only a few seconds before it stops. Hank mutters a curse under his breath, just audible, and hacks up a loogie, spitting it so it lands just so off the end of the art in the dirt next to him. The dirt there goes wet and dark, and with this artistic rendering of a drop of splooge, his masterpiece is complete. When he leans back the camera's in a different position; in the opposite corner from the dirt the screen shows the massive head of a Saint Bernard, taking up a good part of the screen and the majority of Hank's lap.]

You know what makes me feel better when I'm feeling like shit? Bitching about it. Let's bitch, guys. Tell me how shitty you've got it right now. It's not like anyone's got anything else to do here, right? I mean, not unless someone can get this big furry boulder to unglue itself from my lap. I'd have something to do if he'd just play. Look, watch this, it's pathetic.

Hey, Sumo. Fetch. 

[Anyone with motion sickness might want to look away; the screen jerks around wildly as the arm with the camera on it moves to grab a rock and hold it in the air like Hank's going to throw it. Then the screen goes still again as Hank has to lean forward to cough, his dog's big, placid face now taking up the whole view. Sumo gives a single low whuff, lifts his head, and apparently settles himself right over the camera because the screen goes dark. There's the muffled sound of Hank cursing, trying to say Sumo's name between coughs, and then nothing as Hank manages to work his other hand under Sumo's jaw and shut the recording off.]

Comments

[fairysong]

I guess I can't really blame you for that. It's a pretty crazy story, even if it's just history to me.

Here's a simple version: Giant aliens discover Earth, start a war because they think we're someone else. Lots of people die. The war ends in a peace treaty, and humans use their new alien technology-- and new alien allies-- to explore the galaxy because that's just the sort of irritating dreamers we are.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Dreamers?

[Okay, he does have questions, or at least one question - Giants? Really? 'Giant' makes him think 'like the BFG' but you know what, that's probably not accurate - but that word sort of takes precedence, and Hank sounds amused when he repeats it.]

That really the word you meant to use?

[fairysong]

Sure. Why wouldn't it be?

Think about it-- "I wonder what's around that next hill." "I wonder what's on the other side of this ocean." "There's probably something amazing on the next planet we come across." "We just need to push through all of this hardship, and it'll be better once we do."

Humans are dreamers. It's our best and our most irritating quality.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Humans are idiots. It's pretty much our only quality.

[He watches the screen, still amused, kind of wry, thoughtful. It's not like he wants to convince her to think like him - god, fuck no - but he's not going to let shit like that get by totally unchallenged.]

You know what probably drove us to explore the stars? Nosiness. I bet humans are the only species that's just got to be up in everyone else's business, colonizing their planets, butting into alien shit. You're telling me that's not how it goes down?

[fairysong]

[Sheryl laughs, again. Her expression and voice are a little more wry when she answers.] What's the difference?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Hank huffs, amused.]

What, so you're saying humans are dreamers cause we're all dreaming of getting into other people's shit? Snooping our way through the stars? How's that supposed to be inspiring?

[fairysong]

If it weren't for nosy people wondering what's up with that tribe across the river, we'd still be living in caves. Oh, hey, they're doing this interesting thing where they bonk rocks together in rhythm. Let's start doing that, too. And now you're creating culture.

Things don't change that much when you're crossing rivers, or oceans, or Fold space.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Or maybe if they'd let the tribe across the river bang their rocks in peace [Don't think too hard about that phrasing,] the world would be a better place.

[He shrugs.]

You're right, though. Fold up all the space you want, people will still be the same. I guess it's just whether that's a good thing that we don't agree on.

[fairysong]

You really are a masterful cynic, aren't you?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Oh, hey. [He smiles wide, bowing his head toward the screen.] Thanks. I put a lotta time and effort into it. Nice of you to recognize expertise even if it's in an area you might not be so good at.

[fairysong]

I like to think of myself as a realist. Which might be a little odd, for an artist, but...

...there's crap in this world and there's beauty and romance, too. Just part of the messy process we call life. But I'd rather be living it than not.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Hank looks uncomfortable for a second, eyes drifting away from the screen and lips pursed. Then he looks back, trying for a little smile.]

I guess being able to see the bright side would be important for an artist, huh? When you do pop, anyway, it seems like a lot of that kind of stuff has to be cheeful, or hopeful, or something.

[fairysong]

I'll send you my discography sometime. You'd be surprised.

There's a lot of mileage to get out of the whole spectrum of human emotions. Why limit myself?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Well, guess you're braver than me.

[He shrugs, doing, he thinks, a pretty good job at making that sound casual.]

Or maybe you guys just don't have death metal where you're from. That'd be a damn shame, if pop music was the only option. No offense.

[fairysong]

[Oh. Something clicks in her mind.] So you're the one who turned Connor onto that genre, then.

And of course it isn't just pop! One of my biggest inspirations was Fire Bomber-- they're more of a classic rock group.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Gonna be honest, I have no idea what even counts as classic where you're from.

But uh.

Connor talks about me? Connor likes death metal?

[This may or may not be just as weird as space travel and aliens.]

[fairysong]

He didn't mention you by name, but we were talking about music. It was the genre he said he listened to.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Fuck, wouldn't of seen that one coming. He really doesn't look like the type, does he? Now you, you look exactly like you're into what you're into. You I probably could of guessed without even asking. It's the hair.

[fairysong]

...oh, really?

[That sure is a look in her eyes.] Then what sort of music does my favorite band play? The man who inspired me to be a musician, Nekki Basara-- what's his genre?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Classic rock.

[It's the only almost-solid guess he has, since it's the thing she mentioned, and he chews his lip, as he makes it, half-grinning in that way you do when you know there's at least half a chance you're about to get owned.]

[fairysong]

[That's right. She did just mention that, didn't she?

She waves her finger in the air, a little circle-- and some distorted guitar riffs begin to play, leading into that song. No vocals, though.]

What would you call this?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Shit.

[He listens to it for a second, the wry half-grin growing into a full one.]

Fuck me. This is amazing.

You do look like a pop singer though, like. You can not honestly argue with me on that one.

[Not that he's trying to get her to agree - he's protesting cheerfully, mostly for the hell of it. And, like. She does.]

[fairysong]

[She lets it keep playing, honestly. It's a great song.] Isn't it?!

I mean, you're not wrong about me. I'm a pop singer. But you asked me about what music I liked to listen to~

They're called Fire Bomber. Basara's their guitarist-- he's a genius. I've covered some of their stuff before, branching out from my usual styles a little. I'm not quite as good as he is.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

Hey, maybe some day. We've got nothing but time around here, after all, maybe you'll be able to get in some practice.

[fairysong]

It's a thought, but I don't think that's quite my style. I could be the second-best Basara, or I could be the number one Sheryl Nome.

I'd rather be me.