video

[brainthingie]

Ah, yes, hello. This is your local doctor slash surgeon, Ryan Dalias, with an important reminder. You're in a new place, there are all sorts of interesting new people to meet and things to do. But remember, all humanoid species are not the same, and differing biology may not be apparent on the surface. Before interacting...intimately with the local populace, take appropriate prophylactic precautions. Just because you appear biocompatible doesn't mean you have the same immunities, resistances, and biome.

And when you don't bother with any of that, I am a doctor, so just contact me and we'll get that cleared up. I'm also available to treat more standard ailments and injuries.

Comments

[brainthingie]

[jerk.]

I just don't want an infirmary full of people with sudden 'inexplicable' allergic reactions and genital infections. Unless you brought your supply of orphan tears?

[cargobay]

[ he rolls over with a groan, checking beneath the bed as if he might have-- ]

Nope, sorry. Left all my orphan tears in the bag by the door at home, I think. You'd better be careful.

[brainthingie]

Oh, I've learned my lesson, thank you. No new partners without a thorough checkup and making sure they haven't drugged my water. Your vaccinations aren't even up to date.

[cargobay]

So what you're saying is I'm on the list.

[brainthingie]

What I'm saying is--

[wait, what?]

--no, that's not what I'm saying!

[he is so red. so, so red.]

[cargobay]

[ he's pleased as punch. ]

Why are you digging around in my medical history, then?

[brainthingie]

[jerk. it really kinda sounds like he's making excuses, but akmazian is definitely still a jerk.]

I wasn't! You gave Levi a cold that he could only have gotten from someone exposed to a very particular area and is no longer included in standard vaccine protocol because it isn't supposed to exist.

[cargobay]

[ he actually sobers a little at that. ]

They've stopped including bugs from the Adrarian sector in vaccines? Makes sense, I guess. No one's supposed to be going through there.

[brainthingie]

Yes, they did. Not that I agree with the decision, especially in light of recent events, but I don't mass-manufacture the vaccines, either. The clinic is stocked now, and only a few species are vulnerable at this point anyway. He just happened to be one of them.

[cargobay]

Well. Good on you.

[ he pauses for a long moment, and then adds- ]

You never know when you might need him to help keep your penis from exploding again.

[brainthingie]

[that's it akmazian is just getting cuffed right upside the back of the head. that is his response.]

[cargobay]

[ the 'ow' would sound so, so much more sincere if he weren't laughing his ass off right now. ]

[brainthingie]

[jerk. jerkity-jerk jerk jerk.]

You are really fixated on my penis.

[cargobay]

I can show you mine, if you want. Just to keep the score even.

[brainthingie]

[w h a t.]

Was that some sort of...come-on?

[he may be spluttering.]

[cargobay]

Just an offer in the spirit of fairness!

[ he's *so fucking casual* about it, and he's going to lean back where he's lying. ]

Was that all you needed, doc? To come yell at me for laughing at you?

[brainthingie]

You--

[he just. makes helpless hand gestures for a moment.]

I'm leaving now.

[cargobay]

You know where to find me, darlin'.

[ right across the hall from you. somehow. coincidentally. ]

[brainthingie]

[he definitely flicks the side of akmazian's head as he walks by. jerk. but he shuts the door politely and quietly behind himself, because god forbid he make a scene.]