video, after the caverns

[fuck1ngusernam3]

 So, correct me if I'm wrong about this. 

[Hank doesn't bother with an intro, just starts right on in. The angle he's holding his wrist shows both his face and the stick he's dragging along the wall behind him, which has been in a fire at some point in the recent past and leaves a long black trail of ash over the wall as he walks.]

But when all you heroes trooped into the haunted caves under the mysterious freaky lake the communication plan was along the lines of, 'gee, if someone gets their feet ate off by some freaky bullshit I sure do hope they yell real loud so I can get there before they bleed out' right? I mean, I trust you guys know to make a post letting us all know if you need backup, but what if this- [Here the screen shakes as Hank wiggles his wrist, indicating the watch] -gets busted, or stolen, or whatever? 

I don't know, I was just thinking, next time a bunch of us, or just anyone, goes into something that might get bad there should be some kind of post stuck to the top of our feed that we could all check, just something like this-

[He stops walking, still talking as he starts to scratch a little list in ash onto the wall beside him.]

Hey, I wonder how little Suzy's doing. Oh, she checked in an hour ago, she's probably fine.

[He writes Suzy on the wall, and a checkmark next to her name.]

How about JimBob the Murder Bot? Oh, he hasn't checked in for about seven hours, I should take someone to go look for him.

[Next to JimBob the Murder Bot he doodles a little skull. Sorry Jimbo, it's hard out there for a figurative probably-dead robot. Better luck next time.]

Or maybe you guys would rather do some kinda daily role call like in school or, hell, maybe it's just more fun to lone wolf your way through all this world saving shit, what do I know. Decide amongst yourselves. I might be around, I might not. Just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm gonna go eat. 

Comments

[fuck1ngusernam3]

hes not sumo he cant squish u just by rollin

[p_mortem]

He doesn't have to squish me if he's got a knife in his mouth.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

y am i surprised that uve thought this thru. y

[p_mortem]

You shouldn't have been. It's happened before, after all. Lots of mind controlling going on. It really sucked having to fight my friends.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

............even the dog

?

?????

[p_mortem]

Mind control. It's none of their faults. I've almost killed my friends before too.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

im pretty sure ur messin w me now

[p_mortem]

I joke, but I don't lie. But anyways, that sort of thing won't happen anymore, so it doesn't matter.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

kinda does matter tho. terrifying dog assassins aside if i ever try 2 kill u u got permission 2 b mad ok

[p_mortem]

I can't if you have a good reason to.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

wat if i told u itd make me feel better

[p_mortem]

If I got mad at you? ...I wish I could say okay, but I can't really remember the last time I've been mad at anybody before.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

well put a pin in it n come back 2 it later bein mads good 4 u u shld try it sum time

[p_mortem]

Alright. I'll try to keep my rage bottled up so it can build up enough to feel some day.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

...this is y im ur friend not ur mentor. sorry n advance 4 all the unhelpful bs ull learn

[p_mortem]

Nah, learning human emotions is helpful. Thanks.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

u sayin thats worrying on more than 1 level

[p_mortem]

Every time I say something worrying, can you pretend it's a joke?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

wat if ur jokes r worrying

[p_mortem]

Uh. Then... just do your best to believe that everything is fine.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

dont kno me that well yet do u 😆dont worry kid if i get 2 much just tell me 2 back off its ur life

[p_mortem]

The only thing I can ask is for you to do your best. You're not too much, though. I just don't want people to worry about me, or to cause trouble for them and stuff.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

bad news bud ppl thinkin stuff abt us part of bein human its gonna happen no matter wat

[p_mortem]

I'm going to heck off and live with just dogs instead from now on. Bye.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

god that sounds like heaven is there a dog island 4 me sumwhere 2