text

[witchdaggah]

[ so like.

the text keeps appearing and reappearing. like someone's deleting their post? repeatedly. eventually one sticks, though: ]

NO ONE PANIC
The rat infestation is mine


[ that's it. that's the post. ]

Comments

[witchdaggah]

I mean the part where there was an infinite amount of rats coming out of her!
Yeah yeah what room
Don't kill it also!

[theseuschip]

[ room number or whatever goes here idk idc ]

I’m not going to kill it! It hasn’t done anything, it’s just an animal.

[witchdaggah]

[ mae is absolutely barreling towards his room as she responds, but honestly: ]

THANK you
That's what I've been saying to all these weirdos intent on killing them???
Like I don't know I think an innocent animal just wandering into your room is pretty much not at all the right reason to attack it
It's just a rat anyway

[ THEY'RE CLEAN!! mae would add, but she doesn't want to keep telling people their mouths are probably dirtier than her rats. ]

[theseuschip]

[ how did she know that dark figures running at him full-tilt is simon’s absolute favorite??

He leaves his room, carefully and while closing the door as quickly as possible behind him so the rat doesn’t escape and run into the room of someone else who will apparently murder it for whatever reason. ]

Well, we did kind of have a plague problem recently, but maybe they’re coming from a plague-free dimension, and I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.

[ and then he looks up from his watch upon sending this and braces against the door, startled, at the... person... running toward his room. Obviously it’s the rat mother, whose approach is starting to look... really... not extremely human?

just a pair of weirdo fursuiters with nightmare eyes here ]

[witchdaggah]

[ mae was in the process of responding, i swear. her watch is out. it's probably casting a horrible reflection in those giant nightmare eyes of her's, actually, something to match with simon's own hell eyes.

and as they stare at one another: they know. ]

Oh god! What'd they do to you?

[ that mae is an idiot, i mean. ]

[theseuschip]

You’re—

[ he doesn’t even address that, because mae’s weirdness is more important. Because it’s more weird. To Simon. He already knows he’s fucked up and he’s already met every possible variety of robot monster, but. ]

You’re a giant talking cat.

[ what on earth

What The Fuck ]

[witchdaggah]

You're a giant talking thing! Oh god how did you get in there, dude?

[ the joke is mae completely heard that, disregarded it, and then assumed that simon is either 1) not supposed to be in there and 2) was put in there by the coven. she must help him this is such an injustice and as noted by her green knock off doc martens, she is a WOMAN OF ACTION and thievery. ]

How do I get you out???

[theseuschip]

[ she’s 50% right and that’s almost a passing grade, not that a woman of action needs such things. ]

What are you- [ Simon looks behind him like she’s talking about the room he came out of, raises the heel of his palm to where his forehead would be, as if to stave off the existential headache and strongarm this into making sense, but drops it before it makes contact. Oh. Wait.

okay this is officially a first nobody’s freaked out about trying to get him out of his... self. before. ]

The suit doesn’t come off. Long story. [ it’s almost dismissive, because he’s not the really weird thing here. According to Simon “check out all these robots down here that think they’re people, NOT ME THOUGH I’M HUMAN GLUB GLUB” Jarrett, reliable narrator, Mae is the most surreal out of the two of them. ]

Are you... I’m not insane. You’re really a talking cat?