text

[witchdaggah]

[ so like.

the text keeps appearing and reappearing. like someone's deleting their post? repeatedly. eventually one sticks, though: ]

NO ONE PANIC
The rat infestation is mine


[ that's it. that's the post. ]

Comments

[extirpator]

[ it's like, ass'o'clock, so without thinking or proof reading nier sends: ]

what the hell going on

[witchdaggah]

Im a single mother of a nest of rats

[extirpator]

i m
too tir
ed for this
did you give bith to them?

text

[oculusriffs]

oh god why

[witchdaggah]

No I'm just a kind soul taking care of my many many adoptive children
This one is little Timmy and he likes mecha anime and wants one of those design kits for Longest Night

[intoningly]

Im
gnnoa
stab em

[witchdaggah]

I said NO ONE PANIC! Its under control and I have an idea of where most of them are
Probably?

[unrecovered]

can you maybe move them outside

[extirpator]

DOn't these carry disease

[witchdaggah]

That's kind of a leap to violence?
I mean they're just rats
If you make a loud noise they'll run away

[extirpator]

??????

[giveuponyourself]

Are you the Mouse King? Or should we start finding some mouse traps instead?

[I mean, the Mouse King WAS kind of the villain....]

But if you can command the like an army, I think that'd be a waste.

[intoningly]

we just got done with one plague
dont need another
theyre just four legged diseases

[witchdaggah]

Into the cold?
That sounds mean!
And also theyre rats they'll just live in the walls at some point if i kick them out

[witchdaggah]

I bet theyre cleaner than you!!!!
I have no idea why you are questioning me about my children's present needs.

[witchdaggah]

[ in any other game, mae would probably BE the villain. ]

I mean
I can kind of understand them?
Like I get it and what they want you know
It sounds kind of crazy but its true

[witchdaggah]

They're my babies and I love them
They're clean!
No diseases here
I bet there's more bacteria in your mouth!

[unrecovered]

theyre rats

theyll be fine

or maybe they could live in YOUR walls

so they can be close to their rat commander

[oculusriffs]

this is a really fucked up way to invite people on a scavenger hunt dude
what are you even doing with a horde of rats

[intoningly]

if you lov e them so much why do nt you marry them
o wait
you cant
cause im gonna stab em first

[witchdaggah]

You would think a lot
But mostly just trying to find the rest
I thought I would have a psychic connect to them but maybe my hair is blocking it

[giveuponyourself]

Sounds to me like you have some sort of low-level telepathic empathy with them.

In which case I would highly advise you keep them away from mouse traps. Perhaps tide them over with a bit of cheese from the kitchen.

[witchdaggah]

I think they will get away too fast for you to do that
The main reason I can't marry them is that there are no rights for rats
Which means I'm gonna have to establish that
Like a union for rats?

[witchdaggah]

That sounds nice
Having someone close by could be fun
We could have sleep overs!
You could come if you want to but you have to be cool about it

[actualwizard]

[ Oddly, this isn’t the weirdest text Billy has ever read. ]

are all the rats yours?

[ Because there is one in his room. And he’s not a fan. ]