text

[witchdaggah]

[ so like.

the text keeps appearing and reappearing. like someone's deleting their post? repeatedly. eventually one sticks, though: ]

NO ONE PANIC
The rat infestation is mine


[ that's it. that's the post. ]

Comments

[extirpator]

[ it's like, ass'o'clock, so without thinking or proof reading nier sends: ]

what the hell going on

[witchdaggah]

Im a single mother of a nest of rats

text

[oculusriffs]

oh god why

[witchdaggah]

I said NO ONE PANIC! Its under control and I have an idea of where most of them are
Probably?

[intoningly]

Im
gnnoa
stab em

[witchdaggah]

That's kind of a leap to violence?
I mean they're just rats
If you make a loud noise they'll run away

[unrecovered]

can you maybe move them outside

[witchdaggah]

Into the cold?
That sounds mean!
And also theyre rats they'll just live in the walls at some point if i kick them out

[giveuponyourself]

Are you the Mouse King? Or should we start finding some mouse traps instead?

[I mean, the Mouse King WAS kind of the villain....]

But if you can command the like an army, I think that'd be a waste.

[witchdaggah]

[ in any other game, mae would probably BE the villain. ]

I mean
I can kind of understand them?
Like I get it and what they want you know
It sounds kind of crazy but its true

[actualwizard]

[ Oddly, this isn’t the weirdest text Billy has ever read. ]

are all the rats yours?

[ Because there is one in his room. And he’s not a fan. ]

[witchdaggah]

[ that's alarming. billy should get better friends! probably. ]

I don't know
Probably?
I'd have to see the rat in question
But even if it is not mine you probably should just like...
I don't know
leave it alone??

[punshots]

hey
can you not

[ That's all. Just...do not. ]

[witchdaggah]

I think it's probably better to tell everyone instead of like
Letting them figure out
And then causing a panic




Also i have no idea how to not???

[mistimed]

I only have one question regarding these rats.

Would you say that they are friendly?

[witchdaggah]

Dude yeah
They're really sweet tempered
Just feed them!

[uncommonsense]

why are there so many?!?!?!?!?

[ WHY, MAE ]

[witchdaggah]

So many new friends

[ this is a rat safe zone ]

[archaeo]

You sure it's just you?
Cause I've talked to a lot of people around here and


[The joke is they're rats.]

[witchdaggah]

Huh
You know you might be right I mean
Someone here might be a rat?

[ see mae is a furry
ergo
that's. that's valid. ]

video

[lumberlady]

[Konoha might not be able to read well, but she knows some vocabulary.

And if she's not mistaken...]

Sorry, uh- Is this something about rats?

[witchdaggah]

[ poor konoha, unlike everyone else, is now aware a cat is typing. because when mae turns on the video feature, well. she will see a very large cat. with pink hair? ]

Yeah! Like, I don't know, they just started coming! But I know they're mind so like. I kind of gave us a rat infestation?

text

[fairysong]

Nobody told me about a rat infestation.

[witchdaggah]

I just did?

text;

[bleps]

Are you having difficulties with your watch?

[Connor's been watching these posts appear and disappear on and off with an increasingly skeptical look.]

And can you refrain from introducing rats into an environment where are currently living?

[witchdaggah]

No to both
Especially no to the first one!
A softer no to the second one?
Like
I don't know I can't help it?
Mostly

[ i....its fine.... ]

text.

[dipolar]

They shit on my floor.

Two are dead. One is in a bucket of water.

[witchdaggah]

Oh god Melvin and Kelvin!!!!
No! You were too young to die!
Oh god
What happened?
I'll come for little Samuel now!

[courtmagic]

if they chew up the roots of my tree, you owe me a tree, jsyk

[witchdaggah]

Huh
That's fair I guess
Good thing I am a professional tree carrier!

[abandonware]

STOP YOU DUMBASS
stop sending so many messages!

[a second later:]

what is a rat

[another moment passes]

get rid of them or i'm killing all of them

[witchdaggah]

Oh my god
You people are so violent!!!!
Is this how I view the world???
Oh god i'm so violent aren't I

[ mae??? ]

Don't kill them theyre just babies!!!
If you scare them they'll probably run away

[alphascape]

[ Weird repeated posts... ]

Are you alright?

[witchdaggah]

[ wow... this is the first kind person here... an angel from heaven. ]

Yeah just kind of frazzled I guess?
It's like a lot of new stuff

[juniberries]

the what?

[witchdaggah]

DON'T
PANIC
IT'S UNDER CONTROL

[ mostly. ]

text

[heartslight]

there was an infestation??

do you need any help?

[ Too nice for her own good. ]

[witchdaggah]

NO TO ALL unless you have seen a rat or it is in your room
In which case yes

[ this is. normal. it's fine? it's fine! ]

text

[theseuschip]

What do you mean it’s “yours”? Where are they coming from? How is this happening??

[witchdaggah]

It's a Mary Poppins situation dude
I assume it's happening because I'm blessed

[cakewitch]

Belphoebe has been playing with them all morning.

I hope they are magical rats. And not your pets. Or I will owe you a cake.

[witchdaggah]

It's probably the former and they're my children so you owe me two cakes?

[inheritedearth]

You know, I was wondering where they all came from.
They're almost cute, if you squint.

[witchdaggah]

Well thats the problem
You're squinting at them
They're definitely cute with your eyes wide open

Text;

[moneytwin]

[ ...

...

...All right then. ]

I have a bear.

[ ..Is that a warning? A fellow pet owner's calling card? Who even knows. ]

[witchdaggah]

[ it's clearly an attempt at bonding. ]

Oh thats cool
One of my very very good friends is a bear
In every sense of the word.

[imperialsun]

Is your power to make rats appear?

[witchdaggah]

Yeah!
I think so! That's what it is
Wait what