video, after the caverns

[fuck1ngusernam3]

 So, correct me if I'm wrong about this. 

[Hank doesn't bother with an intro, just starts right on in. The angle he's holding his wrist shows both his face and the stick he's dragging along the wall behind him, which has been in a fire at some point in the recent past and leaves a long black trail of ash over the wall as he walks.]

But when all you heroes trooped into the haunted caves under the mysterious freaky lake the communication plan was along the lines of, 'gee, if someone gets their feet ate off by some freaky bullshit I sure do hope they yell real loud so I can get there before they bleed out' right? I mean, I trust you guys know to make a post letting us all know if you need backup, but what if this- [Here the screen shakes as Hank wiggles his wrist, indicating the watch] -gets busted, or stolen, or whatever? 

I don't know, I was just thinking, next time a bunch of us, or just anyone, goes into something that might get bad there should be some kind of post stuck to the top of our feed that we could all check, just something like this-

[He stops walking, still talking as he starts to scratch a little list in ash onto the wall beside him.]

Hey, I wonder how little Suzy's doing. Oh, she checked in an hour ago, she's probably fine.

[He writes Suzy on the wall, and a checkmark next to her name.]

How about JimBob the Murder Bot? Oh, he hasn't checked in for about seven hours, I should take someone to go look for him.

[Next to JimBob the Murder Bot he doodles a little skull. Sorry Jimbo, it's hard out there for a figurative probably-dead robot. Better luck next time.]

Or maybe you guys would rather do some kinda daily role call like in school or, hell, maybe it's just more fun to lone wolf your way through all this world saving shit, what do I know. Decide amongst yourselves. I might be around, I might not. Just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm gonna go eat. 

Comments

[fuck1ngusernam3]

hey idk what they make in the kitchen here but im sure i can find the mysteryest and the alienest stuff they have u like new xperiences rite

[p_mortem]

.............I guess I do like new experiences. I won't turn down door deliveries, then.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

ur not supposed 2 agree 2 it ur just making me want 2 actually do it

[p_mortem]

No one's stopping you from feeding me.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

dont make it weird im talkin about smearing shit on ur door

[p_mortem]

You could always *not* do that, and bring real food instead?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

y am i ur butler now wen did that happen

[p_mortem]

When you agreed to bring me some sort of warm soup, please and thank you.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

i rlly didnt no and fuck off

[Then, a few seconds later:]

y soup ur not like sick or sumthin rite

[p_mortem]

Nothing different from usual. Soup is warm, and it's hard to make badly.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

i think u underestimate how much ive 4gotten abt cooking if ur set on makin me ur chef ull b livin on lots of weird fruit

[p_mortem]

Can't be any worse than me. Is this raw fruit you're picking right off the trees around here, or can I expect a fancy fruit bowl?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

wat abt ill raid the pantry n u can arrange it n2 sumthin nice. i found a tomato n there yesterday we can surround it w potatoes n those weird bumpy things

[p_mortem]

What are those weird bumpy things.....
If there's tomatoes and potatoes, we're halfway to soup already. We just need water and ...salt?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

theyre weird n bumpy think we covered that. also sounds like u kno wat ur doin y dont u make ur soup

[p_mortem]

I'd have to leave my room to make soup. I'd also have to physically make the soup. I thought I'd just ask Konoha whenever I'm hungry so she can magic it out of thin air instead.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

dude dont use her like that shes busy she has lots of weird farming shit 2 do. y dont u just train koro 2 make soup

[p_mortem]

Is there a farm stuff to do out here?
I guess Koromaru could make soup... He might actually be good at it.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

idek man i thought it was so weird that she farms in the first place i 4got 2 ask

if ur dog rlly makes soup can he make me some im so sick of fruit

[p_mortem]

She was drying fruit before, so that sort of thing translates... There's no lack of fruit around here, though. Have you eaten anything besides fruit all this time? Other people keep trying to feed me and it's kind of weird but also kind of great.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

well ur a growin boy or sum shit rite? u gotta eat. but yeh theres dinner. if the freaky weirdos didnt cook 4 us sumtimes id be boned

[p_mortem]

I don't really think I'll be growing any taller than this...
As for the freaky weirdos, are you talking about the ghost things, or are you making fun of Akira?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

idk who akira is but if u want me 2 make fun nyway i can. also even if ur not gettin ny taller ur organs r probly like. doin shit. brain chemicals or something. ur 2 young 2 live off fruit ur not done cooking yet

[p_mortem]

Curry guy with the glasses. But yeah, you're right. Got to eat to heal and stuff, even if it's a pain. Been able to get meat, since that's what Koromaru needs too. The ghosts left him food like you said... It tastes okay too.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

oh yeh well i havent found out how secretly weird curry kid is yet so i wasnt talkin abt him no. however weird he is i bet he doesnt eat dog food