video, after the caverns

[fuck1ngusernam3]

 So, correct me if I'm wrong about this. 

[Hank doesn't bother with an intro, just starts right on in. The angle he's holding his wrist shows both his face and the stick he's dragging along the wall behind him, which has been in a fire at some point in the recent past and leaves a long black trail of ash over the wall as he walks.]

But when all you heroes trooped into the haunted caves under the mysterious freaky lake the communication plan was along the lines of, 'gee, if someone gets their feet ate off by some freaky bullshit I sure do hope they yell real loud so I can get there before they bleed out' right? I mean, I trust you guys know to make a post letting us all know if you need backup, but what if this- [Here the screen shakes as Hank wiggles his wrist, indicating the watch] -gets busted, or stolen, or whatever? 

I don't know, I was just thinking, next time a bunch of us, or just anyone, goes into something that might get bad there should be some kind of post stuck to the top of our feed that we could all check, just something like this-

[He stops walking, still talking as he starts to scratch a little list in ash onto the wall beside him.]

Hey, I wonder how little Suzy's doing. Oh, she checked in an hour ago, she's probably fine.

[He writes Suzy on the wall, and a checkmark next to her name.]

How about JimBob the Murder Bot? Oh, he hasn't checked in for about seven hours, I should take someone to go look for him.

[Next to JimBob the Murder Bot he doodles a little skull. Sorry Jimbo, it's hard out there for a figurative probably-dead robot. Better luck next time.]

Or maybe you guys would rather do some kinda daily role call like in school or, hell, maybe it's just more fun to lone wolf your way through all this world saving shit, what do I know. Decide amongst yourselves. I might be around, I might not. Just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm gonna go eat. 

Comments

[p_mortem]

They're cool. They're capable of a lot more than I am... just that much is envious, I think. The one I know can also fire a machine gun from her fingertips. That's so cool.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

ur a generous guy u kno that

also not terrified enuf

[p_mortem]

It's not like she pointed her fingerguns in my face.
...Only the once. But none of the bullets hit me. We're friends, so there's no reason to be scared.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

holy shit kid

dont make friends w ppl who shoot at u. thats never a good idea even if none of em hit

[p_mortem]

It wasn't her fault. She was being controlled. Besides, she saved my life, and the lives of my friends too.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

oh mind ctrls different i guess. machine gun fingers r still bad tho like. automatics n general = ??? why wld ny1 nstall n automatic in an android n the 1st place tho

[p_mortem]

She's a murderbot.
Or something like that. Sometimes you need to fire off a hundred rounds of bullets at once.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

do u tho

[p_mortem]

It makes it easier. Murderbots are created for a purpose, usually. Hers was to eliminate monsters.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

dont mean 2 shit on ur weird friends its just. machine gun fingers wld b so illegal back home

[p_mortem]

Yeah, it probably is. But nobody notices it... somehow... so it's okay.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

that y u like robots tho ur murderbot friend

[p_mortem]

Yeah, she's somebody special to me, so I guess that's why I like robots.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

yeh that makes sense

[You hear about people getting attached to androids back home, too. Hank always thought those people were pretty fuckin stupid.

Not kids, though. Kids get attached. It's what they do.]

[p_mortem]

[ Kids getting attached to stupid things sure is unfortunate ]

But you don't really have an opinion on them, huh...
Have you met 2B?

[fuck1ngusernam3]

met 3 robots from a place that numbers their models like that so probly. y?

[p_mortem]

There's more of them?
I thought you'd like them more if you talked to them more. That's usually how it goes when I meet new people.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[Hank is not going to tell Minato he's met a shitton of androids. Hank is not going to rain on whatever tiny, sad little enthusiasm-parade this kid can drag up right now.]

srry kid im old were not allowed 2 get excited abt stuff

[p_mortem]

[ Minato can work up optimism like no other; Hank is just perpetuating this and one day his foolhardy optimism will be unstoppable and Hank will only have himself to blame for not crushing it when he could. ]

Aren't old people always looking for more excitement in their lives? Keep them young. Or something like that.

[fuck1ngusernam3]

y wld we want 2 b young young ppl r so so dumb

[p_mortem]

Enough to warrant two "so"s?
Young people can... uh

[ hm

What's so great about being young? ]

[fuck1ngusernam3]

young ppl can fuck rite off is wat they can do

idk i think gettin up n the mornin used 2 b easier but that might b the hangovers

[Is he supposed to reference the whole drinking thing in front of a kid? Is Minato impressionable? Well, fuck it, Hank's role model days are behind him anyway.]

[p_mortem]

Getting up in the morning is easy, because if I don't, then my murderbot would fire off a 21 gun salute next to my head.

not here

[bleps]

[IS THAT SO, HANK]

also not here

[fuck1ngusernam3]

[YES AND ALSO FUCK U]